Happiness & Gratitude

If I could tell you only one thing that would radically improve your happiness it would be to practice gratitude every day.

The thoughts and behaviours you indulge in strengthen the connections in your brain that relate to those behaviours, which means that the more gracious you are the easier it becomes.  In essence, gratitude offers a way to train your brain to focus on the positive things in life, effectively amplifying them.  Of course, negative things will still exist, and you will still have unpleasant experiences, but they will be tempered with the knowledge of all the worthwhile experiences life holds for you each day.  In this way, gratitude can offer a deep sense of ease, and I believe this is where true happiness comes from. 

Gratitude practice also helps you shift the focus from yourself onto those around you and the value they bring to your life.  Recognizing the subtle ways people positively contribute to your life, and actively showing them an appreciation for those qualities, will make those around you feel better about themselves and help you to develop a more meaningful bond with them.  A gracious heart is disarming, and while it may take a lifetime to build that kind of depth, there is no reason you shouldn't start right now.

There are so many ways that you can integrate gratitude into your life and, more than following a strict routine, it is important to just be aware and make a conscious effort to be gracious.  Try to commit to at least one act of gratitude each day for at least one month before you draw any hard conclusions.  Graciousness breeds more graciousness; and happiness.

Here are some simple ways you can get started:

Thank those around you.

One of the simplest ways to practice gratitude is by simply saying thank you.  Say thank you unexpectedly.  Be specific about what you are thankful for.  Focus on the individual and make them feel truly appreciated.  Get creative.

Think about gratitude.

What does it mean to you?  How have others expressed it to you?  How have you expressed it to others?  Write it down.  Talk about it with others.

Challenge yourself.

To think of new ways to express your thanks.

To find new things to be thankful for.

To keep graciousness in mind when life gets sticky.

Some of my favourite ways to express gratitude are to stop and smell the flowers whenever life gives me the opportunity, to complement the talents of those around me or leave them nice notes, and to dance whenever the mood strikes me. You can make pretty much anything an act of gratitude if you do so with an awareness and appreciation for your ability to take part in it in that moment. Gratitude is pretty cool like that, so you have no reason not to try it.

Pacing Yourself

People are creatures of habit, and many of those behaviours we wish we didn't partake in, whatever they may be, were wired into our brains over time through repetition.  It is no wonder that good intentions aren't enough to break the cycle and we find ourselves making choices that aren't always in our best interest, even when we know better.  But just like you picked up these habits over time, you can replace them over time too.

The key to success is to start small and stay focused.  There is no change over night here, this is a lifestyle.  Take time to process everything, let it sink in, and adapt it to your needs.  Look at what you are doing now vs. your ideal, over and over again, taking a small step further towards your ideal each time.

You might be eager to get the process started and over with, thinking that taking on more while you are in good spirits will lead to bigger improvements in your life and, while I applaud your enthusiasm, it just doesn't work that way.  The truth is that the more we take on at once, the harder it is to maintain and the bigger the disappointment failure becomes.  You might find some success, but you probably won't find it sustainable.  It takes four to six weeks for a new habit to take hold in your brain and become routine.  So, by taking it slow, you are giving your brain time to adjust to your new routine.

You might be eating a peanut butter and jam sandwich on white bread today, eating it on whole wheat tomorrow, having a sandwich with greens and sprouts in a few months and eating a salad next year. Things don’t have to be immediate to be progressive, but they have to happen naturally to really stick. Altering habits, bit by bit, one by one, is a great way to accumulate strides towards better health.